Continue reading »]]> Yesterday’s gospel turns the tables on a lot of social conventions. For instance, we heard in our first reading how lepers were “outsided” from the community and had to yell “unclean, unclean” so others wouldn’t come near them and risk being contaminated by disease and also become ritually unclean, unable to enter the temple.

But when we turn to the gospel, the leper comes forth and violates that convention and Jesus touches him–another violation. And the leper is included in society once again by being made clean.

The homeless in New York City will tell you that it’s bad enough to be poor or to be addicted to drugs but what’s worse is the averting of the eyes– people often ignore them calling for change or food and thus, turn them into invisible people. I’m often surprised by how unwilling people are to listen to someone else. Often I too, have that unwillingness.

I’m reading a book right now called Holy Listening by an Episcopalian priest, Margaret Guenther, a longtime spiritual director, hospital chaplain and teacher. It should be required reading for spiritual directors, like myself. A great Paulist priest Jim Young once reminded his brothers that “You can actually listen someone into existence again.” I’ve found that to be true in my own spiritual direction sessions with others –and even in my own with my own director.

One story that touched me in Guenther’s book was when she was finished after a long day of listening at the hospital. A New Yorker, she began the journey towards the subway and longed to escape into her paperback and become another anonymous rider.

Alas, it was not to be. Her clerical collar betrayed her wishes as a disheveled woman got on the subway, spotted her collar and sat down and began to unload her story. She was a drug addict and headed for rehab. She hoped that she would make it this time, as many of us know the demons of addition are difficult to overcome. Margaret listened intently and offered her some brief comforting words. Not sure if her words were the right ones, she hoped that she could have at least provided a respite for this woman as she needed someone to talk to.

Of course, then the uncomfortable moment was on the horizon. Should Margaret give her some change or a dollar? As she rose to leave, the woman reached out and grabbed Margaret’s hand and pressed a subway token into it. “Thank you, sister.”

And there is grace. It reminds me of several gospel stories all at once. The widow’s mite, the woman at the well and even this gospel of the leper being made clean.

I think that’s what Margaret was able to do–she re-included this ignored woman, who sought an ear from someone that she thought would accept her. She, as Fr. Young aptly said, listened that woman into life again.

Who needs us to listen to them? Who do we often not have time for or patience for? Doctors often say that they are tempted to finish their patient’s sentences because they need to rush onto another patient. I know I often shortchange my wife who processes thoughts better by talking them out. These sins, if you will, are often undone by one experience of listening, even when exasperated by a day filled with listening.

The good news of the gospel is that God always listens to us and never tires of our groaning. Do we afford God that same courtesy? God whispers to us in the meandering of our days and finds us often deaf to his call, so deaf that his shouting doesn’t even work. Do we mask our unhappiness by refusing to hear that God is calling us elsewhere in our careers or ministry?

My last year at BustedHalo began with me examining that the pastoral side of my ministry was seriously lacking. As great as BustedHalo was, and is, it was and is, more based in media than in direct ministry. I know now that I’m called to the latter, especially in things like retreats and spiritual direction and even alternative breaks. My spiritual director at the time, Fr Rocco Danzi, SJ, could see this. And when I struggled to see that, myself he began to ask me about where I saw God working in me. Often this was when I was doing the ministry work that I loved doing and less of the media work that I enjoy but isn’t always my first call. I needed to leave BustedHalo and was afraid to make that leap. Fr. Rocco said directly, “Mike, I think you’re hearing a very clear call from God.” I replied, “Really, I don’t hear anything and am confused. I know something’s not right. What do you think God is telling me.”

And with a great Philly-style nash, Fr. Rocco said plainly, “God is telling you to get the hell out of there!”

I laughed, of course. And then, I cried. I knew I had to close that chapter, at least part way to grow into something new, something better, something and somewhere that God has called me into renewed life again. In my listening to others, I had also found myself again and thereby, had found God calling me to be that listener for others in ministry.

So today, let us listen to the whispers and screams that God offers us and also to the voices of those ignored, who often have nobody to listen to them. May our listening change our hearts and bring us into service of the poor and the vulnerable. May we listen to the voice of the unborn, of the mother too scared to bring her child into the world. May we hear the cry of the poor, the orphan and the person on death row. May we hear the voice of the dying words of the elderly, who are often lonely and just want a listener.

And may we hear ourselves, in brutal honesty, calling for God to show us more of who we are and where we are called.

And then, listen to that call and have the courage to follow it.

Continue reading »]]> I’ve had the pleasure to get to know a few Bishops in my career. And at a time when Bishops are criticized and critical of many things, I’d like to take time out to remember one Bishop fondly.

Bishop Joseph Estabrook was an auxiliary Bishop of the Military Diocese and I was proud to know him and call him a friend. He was a great colleague, serving as the Episcopal Moderator for NCYAMA the National Catholic Young Adult Ministry Association and was a rising star in the Church before cancer slowed him and eventually took his life at the much too young age of 67.

He was a great companion to our men and women in uniform. He once told me that he spent a great deal of time listening to “tough Marines cry” and that it was his ministry to be a companion to them in their time of need.

“I’ve seen so many Marines cry and it’s made me realize how tough they really are…especially after I hear what they are going through.”

He was always insightful and practical and a rabid supporter of my work at Busted Halo. He loved a video I produced, “Is Evolution Making a Monkey Out of the Catholic Church?” and spent a lot of time talking to me about what the marines on one of the bases he visited had to say about it.

“It opened a large conversation for us and it helped them see our church as an intellectually solid option.” I could think of nothing more honorable that anyone could say about our efforts.

Bishop Estabrook was also a very funny guy. He regaled us with stories over dinner and he would tell them with such a straight face that it would just become funnier and funnier.

For example: “I worked for the Bishop in Albany and he refused to wear the white vestments at funerals when the changes came down. One day a very public official died and we laid out the white vestments for him. He came in and was furious. ‘What are these?’ We then proceeded to tell him that he needed to wear them. He replied, “Give me five good reasons why I should put these on!’ We replied that this was what the universal church was doing and that the mass would be televised and that he needed to put these on as a show of unity. The church had decided on changing to focus on resurrection and he had move with the church and accept change–even if he was set in his ways.”

He continued with a wry smile:

“So he puts on the white vestments and then the time for the homily came. He starts out, ‘Well, Jim (the deceased) was a great public servant. And there’s one thing about him that always impressed me. Jim was never afraid of change! He always despite his fear, was able to accept change for the better. And so in Jim’s honor, I’d like to announce something. You see these white vestments, I’m instituting them in the diocese today. It’s a new change that we can’t be afraid of, that we need to move with the rest of the church into changing times.”

Bishop Estabrook reported that the Bishop them went on to enumerate all the reasons that they had given him just five minutes before the mass started.

“I looked at him and said, ‘I can’t believe you just did that!’ And he replied, ‘I’m just doing what you guys tell me I should be doing!’ He was a crazy guy, but was really a sweet man who we all loved down deep.”

I learned that he had cancer this past summer through some colleagues and some contract work I was doing for the military diocese. Mark Moitoza, the director of young adult ministry for the diocese said, “He’s a tough old marine. He’s on some kind of crazy chemotherapy that’s supposed to knock all the hair out of your head the next day. It’s nearly a month in and he hasn’t lost a hair. Amazing.

I think it must have been vanity, as the good Bishop was always well-coiffed. He was a good looking man. One colleague once said that she had “A Bishop crush.” Unbeknownist to the Bishop, he was a part of the greatest practical joke that I ever pulled off.

I called said colleague and disguised my voice and said:

“This is Bishop Estabrook, and I hear you have some kind of crush on me. We need to discuss that immediately.”

I went on and on…and finally revealed my identity. Much to the relief of the said colleague who had begun to dial the Bishop’s office on her cell phone. She then called me, half-laughing and half-furious.

As a funny guy, himself, I think the Bishop would have approved.

A priest of the Albany Diocese, he entered Military Chaplaincy in 1977 and served on several Naval bases before ending up in Hawaii at Pearl Harbor where he served as command chaplain in 1997. He later would serve in the same capacity at the Marine Corps base in Hawaii as well.

In 2004 he was named a Bishop and retired from the Navy. It was then that I met him in Cleveland at a conference and our friendship began.

I will miss you, Bishop. Thanks for helping us put young adults on the agenda of your fellow Bishops. Thanks for taking time for so many young adults throughout your career, on both land and sea, uniformed and civilian. But most of all, thanks for simply being my friend.

Rest in peace, Joe.

Eternal rest, grant unto him, O Lord and let perpetual light shine upon him. May Bishop Estabrook’s soul and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Continue reading »]]> Just off the presses:

The USCCB adds their two cents:

“Today’s decision to revise how individuals obtain services that are morally objectionable to religious entities and people of faith is a first step in the right direction,” Cardinal-designate Dolan said. “We hope to work with the Administration to guarantee that Americans’ consciences and our religious freedom are not harmed by these regulations.”

So it sounds like a general approval but that more discussion will be needed in the coming weeks.

A question to ask to the general public because I think I’m pretty smart but perhaps I’m missing something about this:

So if a catholic employee has say Blue Cross/Blue Shield for their insurance, doesn’t BC/BS also have policies for other companies where employees at that company could already get birth control and abortion paid for by IH? So how is giving them money for a separate policy for us that eliminates that option not the same kind of cooperation that people are considering now?

Just saying.

Continue reading »]]> Looks like the long national nightmare will soon be over. President Obama’s Administration is ready to offer an accommodation on the birth control law that would require Catholic employees and hospitals to provide birth control to their employees and patients.

Just in from the Washington Post:

Women will be guaranteed coverage for contraceptive services, but would have to seek the coverage directly from their insurance companies if their employers object to birth control on religious grounds.

Republicans are vowing to reverse President Barack Obama’s new policy on birth control, blasting the rule that religious schools and hospitals must provide contraceptive coverage for their employees as an attack on religious freedom. (Feb.

Similar compromises are in place in Hawaii and several other states, but the White House had not included one when it proposed the health-care law requiring contraceptive coverage for all women. After a firestorm of opposition from Catholic church officials and other groups, the Obama administration said it would seek to modify its position.

President Obama is scheduled to announce the change Friday during an appearance before reporters in the White House at 12:15 p.m. He is trying to head off a growing political problem, after his decision Jan. 20 to grant only a narrower exemption to the health-care rule.

Also from the NY Times:

Administration officials called the expected announcement an “accommodation” that they said sought to demonstrate respect for religious beliefs. It will be similar to the path taken in several other states — particularly Hawaii — that have similar rules.

But administration officials also acknowledged that it would likely not mollify the Catholic bishops who have waged war against the rule or, for that matter, Congressional Republicans and candidates on the presidential campaign trail who have joined the fight. At most, the compromise could potentially help President Obama shore up support among wavering Democrats, who have also expressed doubt about the rule, along with more liberal religious organizations and charities, who oppose the rule but not as vehemently as the Catholic leadership.

Let’s see if this is acceptable to the Bishops. I would say that other Presidents might not have even considered a compromise, so I think this is a step in the right direction.

Stay Tuned.

Continue reading »]]> The Washington Post suggests that perhaps it is:

Arron Blake offers this tidbit:

The White House’s decision to force Catholic hospitals to dispense emergency contraception was a hot topic at the Conservative Political Action Conference on Thursday.

And that’s probably AOK with the Obama campaign.

For a White House that has often been accused of trying to undermine Mitt Romney in the Republican presidential race, the contraception debate is perhaps its happiest accident in that quest.

After all, while the issue hasn’t exactly been fun to deal with for the White House, what better way to help a social conservative like Rick Santorum in his quest to bring down Romney?

Interesting take. I think I agree with him. Perhaps this is strategy. Now the accommodation will come to make the President look like “the bigger person” as well. Santorum has no chance of winning but will certainly be more attractive to social conservatives than Mitt Romney, who is both a Mormon (conservative evangelicals don’t even consider that a religion) and a social moderate, while Santorum is a hardliner.

Oh and here’s this little item:

During a press conference Wednesday, White House press secretary Jay Carney compared the Obama administration’s policy on emergency contraception at Catholic hospitals to the policy under Romney in Massachusetts.

“This is, I think, ironic, the fact that Mitt Romney is expressing — criticizing the president for pursuing a policy that is virtually identical to the one that was in place when he was governor of Massachusetts,” Carney said.

Does this distract the GOP a bit more and delay them getting their act together and naming a candidate to defeat President Obama? I think so and it’s already pretty late in the day for the Republicans to not have a candidate.

And for President Obama’s Administration–that suits them just fine.

Continue reading »]]> My friend Chris turned 30 and got depressed. We both worked in radio and while it’s a fine occupation, one can begin to wonder what difference that last show really made in people’s lives. Ask anyone who works with the public and they’ll tell you that people don’t call when you’re doing well and tell you how great things are. They instead call when they are annoyed and often Chris would be the fielder of those calls with me picking up his slack.

He was at a crossroads and for Chris, an upcoming promotion would indeed change his career, something us men define ourselves by all too often. Turning thirty was his re-birth into a greater way of life. I trailed him by a mere year or so, if memory serves. But at 30, I left my radio career behind for ministry and I never looked back. Besides a wonderful marriage and the love of a loyal dog my career has hinged on two web-ministry ventures, a semi-rebuilt Campus Ministry and a book with one on the way.

Recently, I’ve felt called to do more with spiritual direction, and specifically with those folks who are in transition at a young age–those looking for rebirth in their lives. I’ve been blessed to do this with university students, recent graduates, Catholic volunteers and a random older parishioner or two. Some days I’m challenged by them, wondering if their darkness will ever lift and why God doesn’t seem to lift their dread. Most days, grace abounds and we’re able to God working in our lives clearly and abundantly. And all days, regardless of desolation or consolation, I am simply blessed by the lives of these people. It is a privileged position that I have to sit and listen–and listen carefully. Some are asked to repeat an important line to bring it more into their consciousness, so as to witness to God’s love and life exhaling from their lips. It is there that we find grace in noticing, noticing our life and God’s love for us embedded somewhere in it–perhaps so deep within that it went unnoticed until that very moment where the lightning of grace strikes.

It seems to me that this is what a birthday should really focus on. We are not merely a year older, nor a step closer to death–two inevitabilities, we realize right off, of course. Rather, we are also entering a rebirth. An opportunity to find grace, notice it and move into life–more abundant life and to have it to the full. Where will this year take us? Where are we feeling reborn in our careers, our relationships, our life in conversation with Christ? Where will God call us and will we be willing to answer “yes” or “not now”? Who brings us into this abundant life and do we show them overflowing gratitude?

St. Ignatius would call this the search for the Magis, the greater, and a birthday for me, is an opportunity to look for just what that is in my life. The truth is that I really am becoming more generative as I age, I give back a bit more to others as a mentor now, than ever before. To do this, I also need to stay current and invest in new ventures for myself–being gutsy to try new things and open to God’s grace to witness to something new. Often it’s not for the feint of heart, finding myself amongst donated human cadavers, in the heat of Nicaragua’s summer, playing with refugee children, or simply living amidst the sacred and the secular on a state University’s campus and finding where religion is both neglected and openly welcomed.

Turns out most days, my life is quite exciting. And yet, the prospect of sitting and listening to others and noticing where they are and where they’ve been is where I find myself most joyful. Whether that’s as a ministry mentor for others like myself or a spiritual director with the young or as a writer, hoping to bring some inspiration where times are gloomy–it is all grace and peace and stillness and a great time to rejoice in what life God has given to us all.

So today, I ask for prayers for me on my 42nd birthday. That I may always be open to what God has in store for me. The number 42 is the number worn by Jackie Robinson, the man who broke the color barrier in major league baseball. Robinson, may not have been the best player in the Negro Leagues, but he was called to take on the hatred of early racism, even from his own teammates. He flew around basepads and was able to bring an entire race of people into a new and wonderful life, filled with a bit more freedom than they had before. Nobody in baseball can wear that number now (unless it was issued to them before it was retired. I believe Yankee reliever Mariano Rivera is the lone wearer of #42 now in MLB).

May we all have the grace to stand up for justice despite what may befall us for our stance or where it might lead us. May we be willing to hear God’s voice in our lives and not harden our hearts in bitterness. Rather, may we take time for quiet to hear the gentle whisper of Christ calling us to listen to our hearts, to the plight of the poor and to be fed with the gift of grace.

Continue reading »]]> An astounding report pointed to us today by Deacon Greg. Turns out, that according to Connecticut Magazine, Cardinal Egan isn’t apologizing to victims of sexual abuse any longer.

In an interview in the February issue of Connecticut magazine, a surprisingly frank Cardinal Egan said of the apology, “I never should have said that,” and added, “I don’t think we did anything wrong.”

He said many more things in the interview, some of them seemingly at odds with the facts. He repeatedly denied that any sex abuse had occurred on his watch in Bridgeport. He said that even now, the church in Connecticut had no obligation to report sexual abuse accusations to the authorities. (A law on the books since the 1970s says otherwise.) And he described the Bridgeport diocese’s handling of sex-abuse cases as “incredibly good.”

All of which has Cardinal Egan, now 79 and living in Manhattan, drawing fire from advocates who say he has reopened old wounds.

Something here doesn’t add up. I’m wondering if the Cardinal really said this or if this was out of context. If he really said it, it’s horribly disturbing, especially in light of the recent Vatican conference on the handling of sexual abuse. If he didn’t, it’s horrendous journalism.

If true, it’s also just mean. Imagine anyone coming to you with an abuse allegation and your response being, “Not my problem. We did nothing wrong here.” Obviously SOMETHING went wrong and one should apologize and have some empathy for the victim.

“I’m sorry” goes a long way. Perhaps married men know this better than churchmen do?

If true, it continues to astound me that some folks just don’t get that this was and continues to be the biggest black eye on the church in centuries. How can they expect us to trust them again if they show no remorse and if they continue to place children in harms way by not taking this seriously.

As a colleague said to me, “I find it odd that lay people are the ones who have to tell the clergy that this is wrong and just how wrong it is. How do they not get this?”

With regards to bad journalism, I often wonder how people can sleep at night when they look for the most negative comment and then spin it in a way that can vilify someone. I remember Yankee pitcher Sterling Hitchcock was preparing to pitch against the Red Sox. Someone asked him about the legendary Yankee-Red Sox rivalry.

“Well, I don’t know much about it. Babe Ruth was dead when I was born, so I don’t know.”

He got killed for saying that. But he was being honest and people made him look like a fool who couldn’t care less about the history of the game. I found it horribly unfair. I’m sort of hoping that this is a similar issue of being misunderstood.

It will be interesting to see the response to this in the next few days.

Continue reading »]]> I just returned back from the Pennsylvania Catholic Campus Ministry Conference which was held at the legendary Hershey Hotel in Hershey, PA. I was the keynote speaker for their state campus ministry conference and that usually means intense work and a trip away from my wife and dog, who often miss me terribly when I’m away.

However, this time was worse–because I was headed to the home of the Hershey Bar. And my wife loves her some chocolate.

And so my wife, for her grace in letting me attend the Conference was given a gift package of Hershey Candies (lots of chocolate but also Jolly Rachers and Twizzlers–also made by Hershey) by the team of Campus Ministers who invited me to speak to them on social networking. She’s in heaven, to say the least. A special thanks to Caitlin Czeh, an old friend and one of Fordham’s best, who serves at Wilkes College as an interfaith campus minister, for inviting me to be the speaker.

One big takeaway for me was the overwhelming positive spirit that the Pennsylvania Campus Ministers has throughout the two days. Some came in afraid of social networking but also didn’t simply eschew the practice entirely. Some caution perhaps was needed and is needed with being on Facebook or Linked In, but we can’t really avoid it as much as we’d like to. It’s a main method of communication.

In fact, the positive spirit led me to see that they were united in purpose. They were most interested in bringing people to experience Christ–and to do so in a non-creepy manner–in a way that is healthy and expresses who they are and what they are proud of with regards to their ministry. It was great to spend time with them and it renewed my energy for my own ministry–one that continues to bring me life.

Perhaps, a little chocolate luxury goes a long way? =)

So today, pray for my colleagues and for Campus Ministry. My our patron John Newman intercede for us and bring us peace. May we meet students where we are and humbly submit ourselves to God’s service. And may the love that God has given to us pour out on our students, faculties and staffs and unite us in love for one another, so that we might bring God’s Kingdom a bit closer to the campus.

For now, my friends, in Pennsylvania, until we meet again…

May God hold you and those you serve in the palm of his hand…and may his other hand be feeding you a Hershey Bar.

Continue reading »]]> In today’s NY Times a Vatican-called conference on child sexual abuse is going on and the clearest advice given thus far has encouraged the Vatican to listen to those abused rather than a focusing on those who wronged them exclusively. They were urged to get a lot of help in dealing with the crimes committed.

Monsignor Rossetti said he believed that church leaders — usually called on to deal with their own priests — should not handle such cases by themselves, but should consult legal and criminal experts to conduct investigations and advise bishops. All too often, offending priests have manipulated and lied to their superiors, he said.

But until now the Vatican has not embraced the notion of lay-review boards for pedophilia investigations, reaffirming bishops as the first arbiter in these cases. Last May, the Vatican, through its Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, called on bishops’ conferences worldwide to draft policies on the issue within the year.

Terence McKiernan, president of BishopAccountability.org , said the conference was intended to “change the subject and look like progress.”

“The Vatican is afraid, and it has reason to be,” he said, in light of recent charges against the church, including a complaint filed against the Vatican with the International Criminal Court.

As cases of abuse prominently emerged in North America and several European countries over the past decade, the church was often slow and clumsy in its reactions. The fallout pushed the Vatican to adopt new responses, including the symposium.

Marie Collins, who was abused by a priest while a patient in a Dublin children’s hospital when she was 13, told the delegates on Tuesday that even though many priests had been brought to justice for their crimes, the church needed to acknowledge the responsibility of their superiors. In many cases, she said, they covered up or mishandled cases.

“I can forgive my abuser for his actions; he has admitted his guilt,” she said. “But how do I regain my respect for the leadership of the church? There must be acknowledgment and accountability.”

It’s an interesting turn of events. I’m not sure I want to say that the church should leave it up to the legal system entirely with regards to priests and others who have abused children while representing the church. I’m not sure that they would receive a fair day in court, even if guilty. But I would laud the advice to listen to those who have been victimized. They can help immensely in preventing this from continuing and furthermore, they are owed as much by the church. It’s the least we can do.

At the height of the abuse cases, I attended a listening session at a local parish. The auxiliary Bishop who led the session and who was very open in listening was battered and bruised by the end of the session. It seemed unfair to me for him to have to take the brunt of this and when the session was over, I walked up to him and asked if he was OK. And he appreciated my thought. He also knew that he needed to take a few lumps for the team, even if he had done nothing wrong personally.

It seems to me that the church could use some legal help as they are not lawyers, but we also need to be assured that all heal from this cycle of abuse that was allowed to be perpetuated. Psychological assistance for priests who have to care for people, apologize to victims and help in healing these wounds should also be addressed.