So there’s snow coming to NYC and I had booked Donna Freitas the author of Sex and the Soul to speak on our campus. So she asked if we could try to get her back home to NY on the same night–a fly in, fly out situation.
So I book her a one way flight back to the city for what I think was last.
It was for 2 nights later. Yikes!
Fortunately for me, there was a flight that was delayed and they got her on that one and she arrived home on time.
Needless to say, I owe Dr. Freitas, big time. . . and not simply because I messed up her travel plans. Donna also was so eloquent and insightful and led us in a great conversation about sexuality on college campuses. Even after she headed for the airport, conversation continued to flow openly about sexuality and how an open conversation needs to happen on our campus about it. Donna was able to do what she has done with her students and the subjects of her book: create safe space so that intimate conversation can happen.
If you are a minister to young people, especially to those on Campus. If you are a parent of a young person or if you are on the faculty of a university or a college or graduate student, you NEED to read Sex and the Soul and start a conversation on your campus about it.
Two quick stories from the night:
Dr. Freitas reported that a young woman in her own class at a small Catholic School said during a conversation about “the hook up culture” on campus that she had actually hooked up with men on campus often–but that it didn’t make her feel good. It led to emptiness. Her brave sharing gave other students the permission to say the same thing. In short, they all hated the hook up culture.
Often on campus, men make the rules about sexuality and the social scene sometimes plays off of this. Parties like “Golf pros and tennis hos” where women dress sexy and men are in positions of power can often be accepted behavior on the college scene. Some students were a bit naive about the prevalence of these parties on campus but to be sure they are happening. And that indeed is sad.
Freitas’ book gives all of us a chance to look more deeply about having a healthy conversation with students about sexuality and more importantly how we make decisions regarding sex. It’s clearly a must-read for anyone who sets foot or has a loved one who is on an American College Campus today.
Thanks to Dr. Freitas for spending sometime with our campus on a busy winter week!