So I’m presently on a delta flight from Atlanta to Baton Rouge. We’re waiting at the gate after 5 gate changes and then a change of aircraft. But that’s not the kicker.

So I’m in my seat and a young blonde woman gets on the mic.

(Sweet as honey Southern accent) “HI, Y’ALL! Well, I let those boys into the cockpit, which, you know, I should never have done and they went and found something broken! I don’t know, it’s just those dang boys. So they can fix it but it’s gonna just take a bit of time, y’all. Like about an hour!”

(Audible groans and yells from passengers)

Perky Pilot: “I know right! Ain’t that just a shame! Well we’re gonna let you just mosey on off this plane so y’all can be more comfortable out there. Don’t you all leave the gate area now, cause we might just leave right quick. ”

Seriously you can’t make this up.

Now Delta did turn this around somewhat quickly and sent us to another gate. But that plane had no fuel.

Perkypilot: “Hey y’all, remember me? Well I done called for the fuel truck and they said it would be a few minutes. Well, my idea of a few minutes is like 2 but obviously that’s not their idea of a few minutes. But once it’s here and he jet is fueled, we’re gonna go as fast as we possibly can…..well, maybe not that fast…but we’ll get y’all there.”

I seriously expected the woman to serve us pie and ask if we wanted it ala mode or just plain, like the folks would make it?

The guy in back of me was saying that her perkiness wasn’t exactly inspiring confidence in the passengers.

“I like my pilots to be calm and even keeled.”

We’re taking off now…but more about this later.