How to Stay Married: Celebrate Quirks with Humor

IMG_0405The other night my wife and I went out for a late night Chinese food meal at the end of a long day. I can usually decide what I want to eat at a restaurant quickly and easily. My wife on the other hand usually takes a rather lengthly period with the waitress or waiter coming back to our table two or three times before she has made a decision.

And even there she’ll usually have questions.

This night was no different. She didn’t want something too spicy (which should be translated as “not at all spicy”) and she began to search through the menu for something that would suit her palate. She had several questions for the kind waitress and time was growing thin as the kitchen was getting ready to close.

My head hit the table and I claimed to have died from hunger in the 10 minutes or so that she discussed options with the waitress.

Needless to say, my darling wife did not appreciate this. I think the waitress didn’t find me amusing either.

But regardless, I said to my wife: “You know what they are going to write on your tombstone?”

Marion: “No, what?”

Me: This was the 15th tombstone that she looked at before deciding on this one.”

Major laughter. Soda nearly came out my wife’s nose.

It gave me pause though that there are few people that can actually look at one another, at all their quirkiness and laugh. The truth is that I was annoyed by my wife’s quirkiness, but I have come to expect this and know that this is what I should expect from her. More importantly, I need to remember that I am in love with my wife–and that means that I am in love with all of her–not just the parts that don’t bother me, but also the parts that stretch me into loving the parts of her that annoy me.

And I know that there are parts of me that are hard to love for her.

Moreover, there are hard parts of all of us that are probably hard for God to love.

Might our stubbornness, our hatred, our tempers, our prejudices be difficult for God to love in us? And while God may in fact, hate those things about us, God still loves us in our entirety anyway and calls us to do the same for others.

So today, husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church, the people of God. That means even with some shortcomings, God is able to love us anyway.

Marion, I love you. May your choices at table remind me to be more patient in my life and remind me that the longer you take to order your meal, the more time I get to spend with you.

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  1. This was an unusual night. I don’t usually have the waitress come back that many times. I will always change something in the meal and see if they can do it. My friend Nicole called me Meg once because I reminded her of Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. But that last line was sweet! I savor all the time I spend with you (no pun intended!)


  2. Your marriage brings me hope that there is some real love in this world. This was a healing in some ways! Thank you for sharing!


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