I buried my mother’s sister this morning. I’m such an invisible person to my mother’s side of the family. I have no cohort group since most of the family members are my sister’s age (16 years my senior–I’m sure she loves me saying this) or they are the children of my cousins who are 10-15 years younger than me.
To be fair, I have four cousins who are close to my age. My cousin Mary is a year older, Ricky and Stacey are a year and I believe three years younger than I am respectively. Lou-Ann was 2 years ahead of me at the local High School. She possibly was the only one that I had a lot in common with and she’s clearly also the friendliest.
It’s kind of a shame…I don’t really know my extended family and nor do I feel invited to get to know them. Quite frankly, I don’t care to really. I don’t have a lot in common with them. Hey. ya can’t pick your relatives.
I think my mom was offended that the family chose to have a prayer service and burial instead of a full funeral. A Capuchin came by and did a very brief service consisting of an Our father and his best attempt at a eulogy (and not a very good one I might add). I offered to do the prayer service myself but was declined. Ah to be a lay minister shunned by his own family. I really understand what Jesus meant when he stated that a prophet is not honored in his native land. He wasn’t kidding.
I updated my “dead file” today. It’s a file I keep in case of my accidental death which states how I’d like my funeral to proceed (I selected preachers and presiders, ministers of the word and eucharist, and also keep a running list of people who should not be admitted to the funeral home! And priests who should be nowhere near the altar as well!
It’s kind of morbid…but I value ritual and if I’m not going to be around to “produce” this…I’m not living it in some half-wits hands who’ll take advantage of the grief of my family. In short, easy-going me has stated: “You will execute this liturgy exactly as I have stated.”
I’m so picky…even from beyond.